Qantas homor !!!

After every flight Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, & then pilots re-view the gripe sheets before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance compliance submitted by Qantas` pilots & solutions recorded by maintenance engineers

(p= problem logged by pilot)
(s= solution & action taken by engineers)

p: left inside main tire almost needs replacement
s: almost replaced left inside main tire

p: test flight ok, except auto-land very rough
s: auto land not installed on aircraft

p: something loose in cockpit
s: something tightened in cockpit

p: dead bugs on windshield
s: live bugs on back order

p: evidence of leak in right main landing gear
s: evidence removed

P: dme volume unbelievably loud
s: dme volume set to more believable level

p: friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
s: that’s what they’re for

p: IFF inoperative
s: IFF always inoperative on OFF mode

p: suspected crack in windshield
s: suspected you’re right

p: number 3 engine missing
s: engine found on right wing after brief search

p: aircraft handles funny ( love this one!)
s: aircraft sternly warned to straighten up, fly right, & to be serious

p: target radar hums
s: reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

p: mouse in cockpit
s: cat in installed

p: noise coming from under instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
s: took hammer away from midget

nothing like a bit of humor well done qf lol......

courtesy: http://www.airliners.net/discussions/general_aviation/read.main/2384157/