Notice from Management!

To:
Dear Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Management

kind attention - male members of the house...

Very sentimental and touching video, reality at almost every household...

Makes one think..

Another in the same series... a nice one...

 

Cancer - A Shocking Truth!

This 8-minute video explains how cancer is caused, and how it grows.

Also, how it can be prevented quite easily.

Please do listen to it carefully, and share with as many people as possible.

http://www.redefineyourreality.com/what-is-cancer.htm

Pls do see it's an EYE OPENER!!!

"Army in Kashmir": Irony in Humour----

A Kashmiri, a reporter and a tough old soldier were captured by terrorists in Kashmir. The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

The Kashmiri said,'Well, I'm a foodie, so I'd like one last plate of tandoori chicken.' The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the Chicken. The Kashmiri ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'

The reporter said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.' The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and the reporter dictated his comments. He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'

The leader turned to the soldier and asked, 'And now, Havaldarji, what is your final wish?  'Kick me in the rear,' said the soldier.

'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'

'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the rear,' insisted the soldier. So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the rear. The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took from one of the already dead terrorists, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11. In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the soldier was untying the Kashmiri and the reporter, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the rear?'

'Because' replied the soldier, 'if I had shot first, you two morons would have reported that I was the aggressor and the root cause of all the blood shedding in Kashmir.'

This is the painful irony of Indian Democracy. . .

URGENTLY NEEDED, (food for thought!)

Not BLOOD, but 

An ELECTRICIAN, to 'restore the current' between People, who do not speak to each other anymore. . . 

An OPTICIAN, to 'change the outlook' of people. . . 

An ARTIST, to 'draw a smile' on everyone's face. . .

A CONSTRUCTION WORKER, to 'build a bridge' between angry neighbors & relatives & Friends . .

A GARDENER, to 'cultivate positive

good thoughts' . . .

And

Last but not the least 

A MATHS TEACHER,

For all of us to re-learn how to 'count'  our blessings everyday . . .

We love ourselves even after making so many mistakes.

Then how can we hate others for their small mistakes ?

A thought which is so true, but we always FORGET...