Salt & Pepper - simple

All members of Mensa have I.Q.s of at least 140.

At one Mensa convention, several members at a local cafe noticed the shaker with an S on top, for salt, contained pepper and their pepper shaker, with a P on top, was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling anything and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, here was the marvellous Mensa mystery!

They presented ideas, debated them, and finally came up with what they felt was a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.

They called the blonde waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker contains..."

"Oh, sorry!" interrupted the blonde waitress. "Here," and she unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

Intelligent Boy & Farmer

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.

"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."

The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"

"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."

"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."

Domain Knowledge is very important

There was this family with one kid. One day the mother was out and dad was in charge of the kid, who just turned three.

Someone had given the kid a little 'tea set' as a birthday gift and it was one of his favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when kid brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea from father, kid’s Mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch the kid bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'

Mom waited, and sure enough, the kid comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'

....Mothers know!!

MORAL OF THE STORY: Domain knowledge is very important!! Else your supplier will trick you!

why you should not sleep keeping your head in the North or East?

Did you know, North brings Disease and West dulls the Brain Intellect improves by East facing Head or house and Life lengthens with the Head facing South.

We all know that our Planet has a magnetic pole stretched from north to south with the Positive Pole at the North and the Negative Pole at the South. Now, Health Scientists tell us that We too have a similar magnetic stretch with the Positive Pole at the Head and the Negative Pole at the Feet.

It is common knowledge that like poles repel and unlike poles attract not only scientific but also in social spheres. When we lay our heads on the north side, the two positive sides repel each other and there is a struggle between the two.

Since the earth has a greater magnetic force, we are always the losers, and rise in the morning with headache or heaviness.

When we lay our heads in the southern direction, there is mutual attraction and we wake up fit, fresh and free, unless afflicted by some illness.

We also know that our planet revolves itself from west to east, and sun's magnetic field enters earth from east side. This magnetic force enters our head if we lie with head on the east and exits through feet, promoting cool heads and warm feet as per the laws of magnetism and electricity. When the head is laid towards the west, cool feet and hot head -- result -- an unpleasant start for morning.

Now we may realize why the ancient people said, that our intellect improves by east facing head or house, and life lengthens with the head facing south.

North brings disease and west dulls the brain. They gave us a few more healing hints for a healthy sleep. Never lie on one side for long. Keep changing.

Head to North or West:

Results: Dangerous. Never sleep with the top of your head pointing to the north and feet pointing to the south. Brings terrible dreams and disturbed sleep. Your physical and mental health will suffer.

Head to East:

Benefits: Auspicious. Always make sure you put your head in the East direction as much as possible.

Head to South:

Benefits: Auspicious. The best position for sleeping is with the top of your head pointing to the south and feet pointing north.

Important:

• Avoid daytime sleep.
• Let the night food be light and early.
• Avoid reading serious or sensual literature straining the nerves. 
• Repeat a few mantras to relax your mind before you sleep.

source from the NET received this by mail from my uncle Mr. Mohandas KP

One bedroom flat - a reality check

ONE BEDROOM FLAT…

WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..

A Bitter Reality

… As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald’s and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.

In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India… But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn’t get any holidays and thus could not go to India … The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children’s dislike and my wife’s joy we returned to India to settle down.I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA…

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India… My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA… I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India…I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this?

My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question still remains ‘was all this worth it?’

I am still searching for an answer……………..!!!

START THINKING

IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS …..DON’T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE & PARENTS. . .

START LIVING IT. . .

LIVE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE. . .    BECAUSE LIFE IS PRECIOUS!!!!

What is recession?

Look at this story , so real isn’t it?              What is recession?

* * *

This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside.

He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.

He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.

His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.

But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs.

He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.

His sales and profit went up.

He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more.

He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.

He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.

As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.

* * *

Then something strange happened.

* * *

The son asked, ” Dad, aren’t you aware of the great recession that is coming our way ?”

The father replied, “No, but tell me about it.” The son said, “The international situation is terrible.

The domestic situation is even worse.. We should be prepared for the coming bad times.”

The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.

He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.

So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard,

removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.

He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.

Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hot-dog stand.

And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.

The father said to his son, “Son, you were right. We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time.”

Moral of The Story:

It’s all in your MIND ! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think…

Your Yearly Dementia Test (Good One)

(*Not restricted to Senior citizens others can also undertake this test)

It’s that time of year to take our annual senior citizen* test. 
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. 

Take the test presented here to determine if you’re losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve made your answer. 

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin. 

1. What do you put in a toaster? 
 
 
 
 
 

Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast,’ give up now and do something else.  Try not to hurt yourself.   

If you said, bread, go to Question 2.. 
 

2. Say ‘silk ’ five times. Now spell ‘silk..’ What do cows drink? 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said ‘milk,’ don’t attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. 
However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to question 3. 
 
 
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? 

 
 
 

 
 
 
 
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said ‘green bricks,’ why the hell are you still reading these??? 
If you said ‘glass,’ go on to Question 4. 
 
 
4. It’s twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of ‘no man’s land’ between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man’s land’? 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Answer: You don’t bury survivors. 
If you said ANYTHING else, you’re a dunce and you must stop. If you said, ‘You don’t bury survivors’, proceed to the next question 
 

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on . In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. 
What is the age of the bus driver? 

 
 

 
 
 

 
 
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! 
Don’t you remember your own age ? It was YOU!! 
 
  
Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you. 
 
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!! 

Loving Husband. . .

 A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."  The man thought about it and told him he  would just have her shipped home.   

 

The  undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you  would spend only  $150?"

The man  replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.  I just can't take that chance.