Service...

I became confused when I heard the word 'service' used with these agencies: 

Banking 'Service' 

Postal 'Service' 

Telephone 'Service' 

Cable 'Service' 

Civil 'Service' 

City, State and Public 'Service' 

Customer 'Service' 

Social 'Service' 

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant. 

Then I visited my uncle, he's a farmer, he was talking about hiring a bull to 'Service' his cows. 

Suddenly BAM!!! It all came clear. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us! 

The importance of a good family. . .

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again.

But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles.

The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother, Hana, told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, “My father, Shmuel, told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

They went to bed after saying their prayers. When they awoke, he said to her, “My grandmother, Rivka, said that before you go to the synagogue it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest. Again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather, Moishe, says that after praying it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, “So how is the new husband?”

She replied, “Well, a scholar he may not be, but he comes from a wonderful family."

A wedding nite!

The first Night A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.

Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride [a really innocent girl] to please bring one from the bedroom.

When she gets to the bathroom door, he opens the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly,

"What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.He,also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well honey, that's what we had so much fun with last night."

And she, in dismay & amazement asks, "Is that all we have left?"

Dishonourable discharge!

A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Shemya, Alaska. 

The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife, "Honey, I want you to know that I haven't wasted all this time alone. Instead, I've mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!"

And with that he dropped his trousers and shorts and stood before her in his altogether.

"Now watch," he said. Next he said, "Dick, ten-HUT!"

And with that, his dick sprang to full erection. Then he said, "Dick, at EASE!"

And his dick deflated again.

"Wow, that was amazing," said his wife. "Do you mind if I bring our next-door neighbor over to see this? It's really something else!"

The guy responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of what he had accomplished. So the wife goes next door and comes back with a delicious looking woman who got this guy's full attention! After a brief pause to take her in, he said, "Now watch this." Then he said "Dick, ten-HUT!"

And the dick sprang to life. Then it was "Dick, at EASE!"

But nothing happened. So the guy again said, "Dick, at EASE!"

But still nothing happened. So the guy now says,"For the last time, you son-of-a-bitch, I said AT EASE!!"

Still nothing. Well, the guy was embarassed and ran off to the bathroom. His wife made excuses for him and then joined her husband in the bathroom, where she found him masturbating.

"What in the world are you doing?" she asked.

The guy says, "I'm givin' this son-of-a-bitch a dishonourable discharge!"

A Box of Kisses . . .

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. 

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." 

He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the gold box was empty. 

Annoyed, he said to his daughter, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's suppose to be something inside the box? A box isn't a present!" 

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "But Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you Daddy." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness. 

It is told that the man kept the gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

for my sister

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. 

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' 

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' 

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. 

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. 

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' 

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. 

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'  His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. 

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. 

He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. 

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough..' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. 

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' 

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. 

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? 

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. 

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. 

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

 - - - - 

No word to express, I am choking after reading this....  Thanks to my uncle Mr. Mohandas K P for sharing this....

KNOWLEDGE IS AMUSING. . .

[1] FORTNIGHT comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks). 

[2] POP MUSIC is 'Popular Music' shortened. 

[3] MOPED is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'. 

[4] BUS is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody. 

[5] DRAWING ROOM was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped.. 

[6] NEWS refers to information from Four directions

N, E, W, and S. 

[7] AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'. 

[8] QUEUE comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest.. 

[9] JOURNAL is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business. 

[10] TIPS come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips. 

[11] JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'.GP was changed into JEEP later. 

[12] Coca-Cola was originally green. 

[13] The most common name in the world is Mohammed.. 

[14] The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with Asia, America, Australia, Europe, Africa 

[15] The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE. 

[16] TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. 

[17] Women BLINK nearly twice as much as men!! 

[18] You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. 

[19] It is impossible to lick your elbow. 

[20] Wearing HEADPHONES for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. 

[21] It is physically impossible for PIGS to look up into the sky. 

[22] The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. 

[23] Each KING in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. 

Spades - King David 

Clubs - Alexander the Great, 

Hearts - Charlemagne 

Diamonds - Julius Caesar. 

[24] What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? 

Ans. - All invented by women. 

[25] A CROCODILE cannot stick its tongue out. 

[26] A SNAIL can sleep for three years. 

[27] All POLAR BEARS are left handed. 

[28] BUTTERFLIES taste with their feet. 

[29] ELEPHANTS are the only animals that can't jump. 

[30] In the last 4000 years, no new ANIMALS have been domesticated. 

[31] STEWARDESSES is the longest word typed with only the left hand. 

[32] The human HEART creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. 

[33] RATS multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. 

[34] People say "BLESS YOU" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond. 

[35] If you SNEEZE too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. 

So good to bless  sneezing person

A POND FULL OF MILK..

Once there was a king who told some of his workers to dig a pond.

Once the pond was dug, the king made an announcement to his people saying that one person from each household has to bring a glass of milk during the night and pour it into the pond.

So, the pond should be full of milk by the morning.

After receiving the order, everyone went home.

One man prepared to take the milk during the night. He thought that since everyone will bring milk, he could just hide a glass of water and pour inside the pond. Because it will be dark at night, no one will notice. So he quickly went and poured the water in the pond and came back.

In the morning, the king came to visit the pond and to his surprise the pond was only filled with water! What has happened is that everyone was thinking like the other man that "I don't have to put the milk, someone else will do it."

Dear friends, when it comes to help poor people, do not think that others will take care of it. Rather, it starts from you, if you don't do it, no one else will do it.

So, change yourself to the way of God to serve Him and that will make the difference.