100 Kisses...Really very clever wife!!

A letter has been sent from a husband:

Dear Sweetheart:I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart,

your husband.

His wife replied back after some days to her husband :

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.
5. Other expenses 40 kisses

Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope that I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, please advise.

Your Sweet Heart .

Attitude !!!

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and asked fora phone call.

Shop-owner replied, "Sweety! This is not an STD booth, but you can make one call". (The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation. )

The boy asked, "Lady, can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?". The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn"

"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now," replied the boy.

The woman responded that "she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting the lawn."

The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your side walk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North-Palm Beach, Florida.

"Again the woman answered in the negative. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said, "Son.... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.

"The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

Performance counts!!!

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a person who is dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The person replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ".

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ".

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results", shrugged! Saint Peter.

"While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral:

It is Performance, Not Position that Counts.