Who wants to be a PIG???

Hey guys !!!!

Who wants to be a PIG???

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)

If you farted constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? )

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)


Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...In other words, send it to everyone!

Ladies !! Watch out what you say ? ? ?

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the Breeding bull exhibit.

They went up to the first pen and there was a Sign attached that said, "This bull mated 52 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See ... He mated 52 times last year? ....once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 125 times last year."
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than Twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third Pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This Bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly Broke her husband's ribs, said, that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY Learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

Common Sense-Applicable only for those outside India

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by until today I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance. For Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.

Obituary -Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a bandage to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Author unknown

Sardar jokes

Thanks Ganga for sending me these jokes.


Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

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Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

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Boss : I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it ok?
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is ok .......but?? how much is DRIVING salary...?

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Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

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Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office....

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Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
...... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

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Tears - Interesting piece of information

There was a study done where a control group of 100 people were divided into two.

50 people watched a very funny, tears-of laughter type movie.
50 watched a very sad and tears of compassion type movie.

At the end of the sessions researchers collected the "happy tears" and the "sad tears" with eye droppers. They found that "happy tears" are made up of brine salt water and not a great deal else However the "sad tears" were found to contain the very same chemicals and enzymes that are found in tumors, ulcers and other such lumps and bumps and sicknesses through out the body.

This test concluded that the body, when crying in sadness etc is literally flushing out all of the toxic-chemicals that accumulate and are a part of the sadness /heartache experience.

Therefore if one holds back those tears, those toxic-waters will find somewhere else to deposit themselves and prolonged lack-of-crying-release will guarantee that the body will accumulate a huge amount of internal pollution and toxicity that should have been released through the tears is it any wonder that the eyes sting so much when we hold back our tears?

LESSON FROM THE STUDY:

CRY YOUR HEART OUT WHEN YOU ARE SAD, LONELY, ALONE, DEPRESSED, ETC..... IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH!


Click on this link for more info: "http://www.geocities.com/kidhistory/trauma/tears.htm"

Life is what we make it.....

The other day a friend's son, Jayant, was telling his experience. During the diwali vacation, he and his couple of friends had gone to Delhi.

They rented a taxi for local sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardar, and boys being boys, Jayant and his pals began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to insinuate the old man.

But to their surprise, the fellow remained unperturbed.

At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid up the hire-charges. The Sardar returned the change. Moreover, he gave each one of them Re.1 extra and said, (in Hindi, of course),

''Son, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in a very bad taste. Still, I don't mind coz I know that you are young blood and are yet to know what the world is about. You have yet to know what is will power, dedication and success, you have yet to see the world. But I have
just one request. Here I am giving you Re.1 each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in
this city.'

Jayant continued,' That Re.1 coin is still with me. I couldn't find a single Sardar begging on the streets of Delhi !'

Smilers wear a CROWN, Loosers wear a FROWN.

ANT & GRASSHOPPER

OLD VERSION...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and others are cold and starving. NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house. Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) . Opposition MP's stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry. CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers. Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter. Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Insititutions & Govt.Services.
The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV. Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden' Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...The ant has since migrated outside India and set up a multinational company . 100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India

More Oxymorons...

Aircraft Black Box It's painted orange!

Briefing Often long meeting

Chili Refers to hot

Hermitage Where multiple hermits live

Internal Revenue Service Tax Authority

No Comment Is a Comment

Retired Re-tired = Tired again

This page intentionally left blank but it isn't!

Was Suicided Driven to Suicide

Well Done Over-cooked Steak

Oxymoron...

An Oxymoron is a combination of two contradictory words. "Amateur Expert,'' "Mercy Killing'' and "Deafening Silence'' are some examples. Have a look at the site Oxymoron (http://www.oxymorons.info/), which contains a variety of oxymorons, organised under different categories such as Business, Education, Science and Technology.

Examples:

1) I distinctly remember forgetting that. -- Clara Barton

2) A joke is a very serious thing. -- Winston Churchill

3) The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep

4) Change is the only Constant.

5) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -- Mark Twain

6) The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. -- Winston Churchill

7) A hospital is no place to be sick. -- Samuel Goldwyn

8) A little pain never hurt anyone.

9) Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -- Samuel Goldwyn

10) He lived his life to the end.

Typical top management

A Red Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a Bucket of cow dung in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee".

The waiter says, "Sure Sir, coming right up." Waiter gets the Red Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Red Indian Drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of cow dung, throws it into The air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.

The next morning the Red Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one Hand and bucket of cow dung in the other. He walks up to the counter and Says to the waiter, "Me want coffee".

The waiter says, "Whoa Sir! We are still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about?"

The Red Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for Upper Management Position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot some crap, leave mess around for others to clean, disappear for rest of the day".

100 Kisses...Really very clever wife!!

A letter has been sent from a husband:

Dear Sweetheart:I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart,

your husband.

His wife replied back after some days to her husband :

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.
5. Other expenses 40 kisses

Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope that I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, please advise.

Your Sweet Heart .

Attitude !!!

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and asked fora phone call.

Shop-owner replied, "Sweety! This is not an STD booth, but you can make one call". (The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation. )

The boy asked, "Lady, can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?". The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn"

"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now," replied the boy.

The woman responded that "she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting the lawn."

The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your side walk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North-Palm Beach, Florida.

"Again the woman answered in the negative. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said, "Son.... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.

"The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

Performance counts!!!

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a person who is dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The person replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ".

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ".

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results", shrugged! Saint Peter.

"While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral:

It is Performance, Not Position that Counts.

Good One!!!

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you!

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!

After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.""What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

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Wonder what would have the reaction of his wife at this point

English is phunny!!!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

Eyes and Friendship

Do you know the relationship between two eyes..?

They blink together,
They move together,
They cry together,
They see things together And
They sleep together

BUT THEY NEVER SEE EACH OTHER.. That's what friendship is..........

BUT

BUT

BUT

BUT

BUT

BUT

BUT

BUT

But when a beautiful girl comes in front, one eye goes blink and the other remains open........

Moral of the story

Girls can break even the best of friendships!!!


PS - Any comments from the girls ??

Some thing interesting...

1. 5 minutes ago you were traveling to office at 80 mph. in your brand new car. Now you are traveling to hospital at double the speed in an ambulance, you wish there was 'undo (ctrl + Z)' in life!

2. You are already late, and your key is missing, you wish there was 'find tool (ctrl+F)' in life!

3. You are a bankrupt, after investing in some weird business, you wish there was 'rebuild all' in life!

4. The train is so crowded that you cannot get anywhere near that nice girl at the other end, You wish there was 'zoom & view full screen' in life!

5. After marriage you realize that there is bound to be a mismatch, you wish there was an valuation period' or at least a 'sample download' or a 'demo version'!

6. One day you realize that you are turning bald, you wish there was 'cut and paste (ctrl + X)/(ctrl+C)'inlife!

And the best one is ..........

7. The best part of the keyboard is U & I are together which is not always there in life......

Laws of Coincidence!!!

LAW OF COFFEE:

As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

Law of bathroom:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of queue:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Good one...

Once a man went to a Veterinary (Animal) Doctor and said:
Doctor I came on vacation so that I can get treated.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic

Man: No, I want u 2 treat me.

Doctor: But, I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist.

Man: I know, but I want you to treat me.

Doctor: I cannot, because you speak like me and think like me which means you are a human, not an animal.

Man: I know I am same and I am a human but the problem is I get up in the morning like a horse, I go to work like a deer, I work all day like a donkey, I wag my tail in front of my manager like a dog, I play with my children like a monkey, I am like a rabbit in front of my wife.

Doctor asked: Do you work in DUBAI ?

Man: Yes

Doctor yelled: Come, no body can treat you better than me !!!

Husband n Wife!!!

Come Home

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said, "You
see, his name is Bill
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Why divorce

In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him

________________________________

Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now"

_________________________________

Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man
_________________________________

Why

" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax:

Beer or Women? A man's dilemma....

A beer is always wet, a woman isn't.
1 point for beer!

Beer is horrible when it is hot.
1 point for women!

A cold beer satisfies you.
1 point for beer!

If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you.
If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again.
Draw! (it depends on your point of view...)

10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere!
1 point for women!

The older beer is the better.
1 point for beer!

Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God!
1 point for women!

If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you're normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you're alcoholic.
1 point for women!

For a beer you pay taxes.
1 point for women!

If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry.
1 point for beer!

You can always be sure that you're the first one "opening" a beer.
1 point for beer!

You know exactly how much a beer costs.
1 point for beer!

A beer doesn't have a nagging mom.
1 point for beer!

You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after.
1 point for beer!

FINAL SCORE: Beer beats women. (8 to 6)

If you're a woman and getting angry, think that a beer wouldn't.

Another point for beer! Final score: 9 to 6.

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I sum up by saying that both Women and Beer is needed, just that the importance will keep varying from time to time.

5 lessons in life to be learnt...

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read
the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..

It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.


In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.

The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare &serious disease. Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.


Most importantly.................. "Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

NOW more than ever - Peace...Pass It On.....

Psalm 100

A psalm. from the bible, For giving thanks.

¹ Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

² Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

³ Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

⁵ For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

from the website: http://bibleresources.bible.com/bible_read.php